Eviatar Frankel: Facing Death with Grace
Life is a Festival #154
Today's episode is dedicated to my dear friend, Eviatar Frankel, who died a week ago from complications related to a rare lymphoma. I was privileged to sit with Ev in a men's circle throughout his battle with cancer. Each week, and in countless private conversations, he displayed remarkable grace.
This podcast features readings from Eviatar's personal philosophy, deeply rooted in determinism, and includes two interviews. On the show we hear from Erica Dean, a mutual friend pivotal in Ev's care journey and a woman committed to the path of ceremonial medicine. We also welcome back my mentor and spiritual guide, Benjamin, who shared in the men's group experience with Ev. Additionally, we'll share a voice message from Eviatar—humorous, playful, and insightful—that he sent to many friends after a potent experience in the hospital.
Rarely do individuals possess the courage, wisdom, or awareness to confront death with genuine presence. Yet, in Eviatar’s worldview, he perceived this opportunity for presence in the face of death as a gift. He approached his journey as a ceremony, and it was an incredible privilege for all of us to participate in that ceremony with him.
As the Yawanawa people say, “weak body, strong spirit.”
Eviatar, we cherish you. Thank you for gracing us with your wisdom, humor, and boundless joy.
Timestamps
:08 - Who Eviatar Frankel Was
:16 - Eviatar’s Letter
:23 - Principles to Remember on Waking
:36 - The cancer journey as a ceremony
:39 - Ev’s voice memo from the hospital
:56 - How to be helpful
Eviatar’s Principles to Remember on Waking
Context: A star exploded, and as the debris mixed, I -- a conscious being capable of appreciation, joy, connection, wonder, and love -- emerged. That is INSANE. I am here for a sliver of eternity. I have the ability to experience extreme euphoria and joy, and relieve others of sadness and pain. Just that is worthy of awe and joy.
Every moment is filled with plenty to appreciate, but my mind has been optimized for genetic survival, not wellbeing. Overcoming this is straightforward, the challenge is that I need to remember:
To be in appreciation. I have the ability to determine where to focus my attention, and therefore my life experience. I just need to exercise it. (Meditating strengthens my ability to select where to place my attention). Appreciation is the fundamental unit of positive human experience. Worrying, stressing, regretting, desiring, judging all distract from appreciation.
I am the only way I could be
I am just a bundle of atoms / sensations rolling through this life experience. A product of my genes and my environment. I could have never done differently - therefore regrets and shame are misplaced. And others are the only way they could be -- treat them with compassion and respond with equanimity. (On free will)
It’s a game / movie - consciousness along for the ride - everything is determined, so stress, anger, sadness, etc. are biological responses. Best not to lose myself in them, accept them as transient parts of the ride with a smile, and let them pass (Rumi guesthouse) (On life as a game)
I have everything I need to be happy
Desires are evolutionary products and often detrimental to my experience. They are usually misleading - i.e. attaining that which I desired often won’t achieve the expected satisfaction. Don’t compare myself to other people or other circumstances - if I do, remember that I have enough, and even if I attained what others have, I’d probably still compare to the “next better”
What if this is it? (link)
Every moment is an opportunity to enjoy or grow (at least, meditate and exercise my ability to control my emotional reaction)
If stressed / worried - “what’s the worst that could happen?”
Okay to be sad sometimes - a necessary part of the mechanism that allows me to be happy. (In a world where I could only be happy, I would become desensitized to that state)
Just being alive is a gift if I remember to appreciate it. The rest is bonus
Other than being in appreciation, work to secure basic needs, and make others happy, by:
Self: Be physically and mentally healthy (sleep, food, exercise, mental health), create, play, connect with others, be intellectually engaged, in flow, learn, explore, heal
Others: The most fulfilling thing is helping others – work to improve the world and lives of others. Look out to help others in the little things, and dedicate time to make the world better. Do work that is fulfilling, engaging, and impactful
Graphics Designed by Gehno Sanchez Aviance
Audio Engineering by Trevor Coulter
Theme song ““Peculiar Colors” [Manjumasi]“ by dj atish